Little Hitlers

August 17, 2006

I suppose most litigation solicitors have had the misfortune to come across one. Why is it that some District Judges insist on being as awkward, pedantic and downright bloody minded as they can? No using a common-sense approach to ensure that matters keep ticking over smoothly here. For them, the Rule Book is a tool to ensure that the experience of using the court is as difficult and painful as possible for all concerned. Left a  word out of a pleading? Too bad, you’ll have to start all over again (and pay another extortionate court fee). Forgotten to serve someone, despite the fact that it makes no difference? Sorry, now the whole process will have to grind to a halt and you’ll have to pay the wasted costs. Brilliant.

What is it that makes some District Judges so perverse as to make many local solicitors issue proceedings in other courts just to avoid them? Is it the power? Or is it that they are just naturally awkward sods?

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The Truth about Solicitors’ Bills

August 16, 2006

The joke has often been told that a solicitor’s job would be far easier if it wasn’t for the clients. Unfortunately, the joke is often too true to raise a smile (it’s long been too old to raise a laugh).

The thing that all clients like least of course is paying for our services. A typical complaint is that we charge for far more work than we have actually done. Yeah, right. We told you at the outset that we would only charge for the work that we do, at the rate that we have stated. We were lying. What we really meant was that we would make up entirely fictional details of the time we spent, the number of letters we wrote, the number of letters we received and the number of telephone calls, so that we could screw you for as much as we could get. There, I’ve said it.

Of course, the fact that the work done on our file corresponds with the details we have given is entirely coincidental.


Macca v Mills

August 11, 2006

It’s pathetic, isn’t it? Macca appoints Prince Charles’s solicitor, so moneygrabber Mills, seeing herself as a latter-day Lady Di, appoints her solicitor. Excuse me while I vomit…