Waxing Lyrical

April 28, 2007

Damn, I’ve been trying to remember the lyrics of an Ian Dury song. While I try to recall them, I thought I’d review some recent legal developments:

– The implementation of HIPs draws ever closer and will, we are assured, solve all the problems of the conveyancing process. Bollocks.

– The CLS has forced through the new legal aid contract, which in turn will force more firms out of business.

– This week the profession received more good publicity when an MP complained on the BBC about greedy lawyers, referring to the miners compensation claims.

– The third money laundering directive is on it’s way, and will mean that solicitors will basically be liable for any criminal activity committed by their clients.

Oh yes, I’ve remembered those lyrics: “arseholes, bastards, fucking cunts and pricks…”


More aggravation

January 19, 2007

I really ought to stop reading the Gazette, it’s bad for my blood pressure. In a front-page article this week, it reports that the chief executive of the ‘Legal Complaints Service’ claims that an increase in the number of complaints against solicitors will be a sign of ‘success’, saying that “better public awareness of the service will bring in more complaints”. Bloody great.

[Blimey, three posts in two days. I’d better take a rest…]

As long as the forms are filled in

January 11, 2007

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. File reviews. Complete bloody waste of time. Especially when you have to review files from another department, because there aren’t enough people in that department to review their own files. Still, that doesn’t matter, as long as the forms are filled in.

You’re trying to actually do the job clients are paying you to do, but you have to stop to review someone else’s files. You then spend god knows how long filling in forms and checking that all sorts of mostly irrelevant procedures have been complied with. You have no idea whether the ‘owner’ of the file is actually doing a good job, because the file is from another department and you haven’t got a clue about that kind of work. Still, that doesn’t matter, as long as the forms are filled in.

Then comes the killer: some idiot in another department has reviewed your files and tells you you’re doing your job wrong. Bloody brilliant. Does wonders for staff morale. Still, that doesn’t matter, as long as the forms are filled in.

Masochists only apply

December 1, 2006

In this post nearlylegal and one of his commenters suggest that many lawyers have a complete disregard for clients. Maybe this has something to do with the type of clients we have to deal with these days, for example:

  • The probate client, who can’t wait to get their hands on their (obviously unmissed) deceased relative’s money, and is therefore always complaining about how long it is taking to wind up the estate.
  • The conveyancing client, who expects the matter to be completed yesterday, but is always on the phone chasing you, thereby preventing you from getting on with their (or anybody else’s) matter.
  • The litigation client, who ignores all your advice to settle, thereby increasing the work,  but then complains about the size of your bill.

Nearlylegal also points out the public’s low level of esteem for lawyers. With such aggravation from all sides, in future only those with pathologically masochistic tendencies will want to join the profession.

Law Society does something for solicitors shock

November 30, 2006

It’s amusing to see that the Law Society is actually trying to support the profession’s opposition to Carter’s ‘reforms’, the latest assault on legal aid. About bloody time. Why the hell they’ve been sitting on their arses in Chancery Lane for the last 20 years, I don’t know. Probably because no one there has ever sullied their hands with legal aid work.

Pink Furry Dice

November 8, 2006

LexcelOn my way in to work this morning I was ‘cut up’ by a young pony-tailed woman driving an old red Ford Fiesta. As she was in front of me I speculated whether her view of me was obscured by the pink furry dice hanging from her rear view mirror. I’m sure that this must be a good metaphor for useless modern ideas getting in the way of what is really important, but I’m damned if I can find it…

The Joy of Lex

November 5, 2006

Some of the pleasures of Lexcel accreditation:

1. Having some fuckwit who’s never done your job (and probably never could) tell you what to do.

2. Reviewing colleagues’ files every month, despite the fact that they work in another department and you therefore have little knowledge of the legal issues involved in their matters.

3. Annual appraisals – a complete waste of time – agree targets that are either unattainable, or are what you will achieve anyway, because you will simply do the best you can, as always.

4. Being prevented by bureaucracy and paperwork from doing the job that you were actually trained to do, and that your clients are paying you to do.